Understanding your Experience
I work with gay men to help them navigate life from the perspective of their unique personal, relational, and sociocultural experiences. Being of a different sexuality often shapes one’s early sense of identity, safety, and self-expression—and this can leave lasting emotional traces. In our work together, I seek to understand the full spectrum of your life: your family dynamics, school years, work life, social world, and internal experience.
The Impact of Growing Up ‘Different’
For a large part of their early lives, many gay men have to hold themselves back—from showing affection, expressing attraction, or being emotionally open. This withholding often stems from fear: of being judged, bullied, shamed, or excluded.
Many boys who identify as gay are bullied in school simply for not fitting into heteronormative expectations. These experiences can deeply affect self-esteem, leaving behind an inner narrative of not being ‘enough’ or not belonging.
Emotional Intimacy and Relationships
Without early opportunities to express love or attraction freely, many gay men grow up without sufficiently learning how to be emotionally intimate with other men. Physical intimacy may feel more accessible—but emotional closeness, vulnerability, and trust can feel more complex or unfamiliar. The tragedy experienced by gay men can often be that one was bullied by other boys—and it is boys that one was attracted to. This can bring up deep fear around vulnerability and emotional closeness in adult relationships.
By the time gay men begin exploring relationships—often in their twenties or later—many heterosexual peers have already had those formative experiences. The relational ground can feel uneven. Add to this the wider messages boys often receive about not being ‘too emotional,’ and it’s understandable why intimacy can feel challenging.
Dating Culture and Emotional Depth
Whilst dating apps have brought welcome ease and visibility to many gay men’s lives, they can also contribute to a culture that prioritises physical connection over emotional depth. This can make it harder to develop lasting, secure, and fulfilling relationships.
You may find yourself longing for more—yet unsure how to move beyond fleeting connections into something more grounded and emotionally nourishing.
A Therapeutic Space to Explore
Psychotherapy can offer a space to gently explore these layers—at your own pace, and without judgement. We may work together on:
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Relational difficulties
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Emotional intimacy and vulnerability
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Loneliness or disconnection
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Shame or self-esteem issues
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Identity and belonging
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Anxiety, depression, or general emotional distress
Sessions are held weekly, online or in-person, and take place at the same time each week—creating a consistent and boundaried space for reflection and connection.
My Approach
In my practice of psychotherapy, I bring an awareness of how identity, culture, and life experiences intersect. I aim to offer a space where you don’t need to explain or defend who you are. Your story is welcome here—as it is.
If you would like to begin therapy or explore whether it might be right for you, feel free to get in touch in confidence.